How come your wife is applying for ILR, when she is your dependent and you do not have ILR?
If your wife got what is called a "fixed penalty notice" then she does not need to declare it.
You have been fighting for this country, but you have been putting people of this country at grave danger while driving under influence. You have committed the offences that you have committed. There is nothing you can do about it now. You cannot somehow travel back in time and put it right. Better get in touch with a good immigration solicitor who may try to mitigate, and try to get FLR. You will not be granted ILR until you have unspent convictions.
But let me make it clear to you, DUI in taken very very seriously by home office, and having the conviction twice is like you have already committed suicide as far as immigration is concerned.
No one can help you any further on immigration forums. Go see a good experienced immigration solicitor.